00:00
“I was surprised at my automatic response to an SMS popping up on my phone late one evening. I realized that something had happened in my heart sometime over the last year of change after change in my unsettled life in Nepal, and I felt compelled to confess.
I told my friend of many years how I had distanced myself from those residing Stateside in some strange act of self-preservation. For some inexplicable reason, I had convinced myself it was just easier to do things this side of the world on my own. Like I had something to prove to myself that I was capable of handing the many curveballs thrown my way without the encouragement of friends and family.
Whoa, pride…Not cool!
The confession was difficult to release, and I immediately wanted to retract it. The dancing dots on the screen that told me she was crafting a response lingered for far too long and increased my anxiety about the situation at hand. But in true faithful friend fashion, she thanked me for my honesty and even affirmed my feelings despite how crazy they seemed to me.
I felt free to share, wholly accepted and loved. I had allowed the lonely moments and feelings of being forgotten overshadow the great blessing of the truly loyal, life-giving friends I have, and I had failed to return that great gift of loyalty from my side of the world.
This friends’ faithfulness shined a light on my own lack of loyalty to these invaluable treasures. I had excused myself from these friends’ lives because it just seemed easier, and maybe, in some ways it is.
But receiving the great gift of loyalty from a faithful friend makes me recognize its immeasurable value which I had been missing out on. What a great privilege it is to pass it on!”
05:00
This post is part of Five Minute Friday where many writers join together each week to write for freely Five Minutes on the same prompt and encourage each other along the way. Join the fun!
Those faithful friendships can be some of the most loyal around. I’m thankful for those in my life, who affirm me and understand, yet are real with me. What a beautiful gift you have in your friends and in your writing! It’s a blessing to follow you this week at FMF! Hugs to you.
Thank you so much for reading and offering such sweet words of encouragement. So fun to “Meryl you!
Meet you 🙂
Oh, Amber, this is such a lovely, transparent post.
If I am not mistaken, ‘taube’ means dove in German, and I hope I am right because I see the Holy Spirit circling through your words, turning acrobatic bird-circles in delight. (I am not going to Google the word and check; I want to keep the image!)
#2 at FMF this week.
http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2016/08/your-dying-spouse-199-phoenix-rising-fmf.html
Hey, sounds good to me! I married into this name! Thanks for your words of encouragement. It is my prayer that the Holy Spirit would use my feeble attempts to share the work He does within me. God bless you for your faithfulness to write and lift others up with your words.
THIS: “But receiving the great gift of loyalty from a faithful friend makes me recognize its immeasurable value which I had been missing out on. What a great privilege it is to pass it on!” So so true! Over in the 35 spot this week.
How true, and how thankful I am to have had this moment of realization. It’s easy to slip into self-preservation and selfishness but it’s amazing how giving of ourselves serves us in the end. Thanks for your comment, Tara.
Amber,
delighted to be just a couple clicks behind you on FMF this week! Your story intrigues me. Such a good picture of our desire to be alone, thinking it would be less painful, and how our enemy utilizes that protective nature to separate us from the safety of our ‘herd’ as it were. “Your enemy prowls like a lion…”
And those loyal friends?! Yes and yes! And what a great picture of what God intended us to be for each other. Wholly accepting and loving. Able to handle the “good, the bad, and the ugly”. 🙂
Thank you for sharing so much!
Love,
Tammy
(#7 this week)
Tammy, so thankful for your words of encouragement and affirmation. I’m sure you know how vulnerable it is releasing your feelings out like this and anticipating the response. Thankful for all those in my herd! Thanks for speaking truth to me.
I did the same when I lived overseas. It’s easy to go it alone. Your voice is real and refreshing, Amber. I echo what Andrew said. Completely. So glad you joined the FMF community. I’m so glad to be your writing friend and learn from your process too.
I would love to hear more about your time overseas, Christina. I’m so enjoying getting to know you and learning from you as well. Thankful for the gifts and friends He gives us. Thank you for encouraging me to write. It’s not always easy to put my thoughts out there when it may clash with how I am perceived by those who send us.
I remember that feeling well. Our best friends had just moved overseas and the pain of feeling that I didn’t want to open up to anyone again was so strong. It is definitely something that has to be vocalised and faced head on though, that drawing back into yourself hardly ever results in a thriving state 😦 Such hard lessons to learn, hey? So glad you do have faithful friends who can handle your honesty and move through life together with you xx
So helpful to see it from the other side. It seems conceited to think your friend is grieving too but refusing to acknowledge the possibility is refusing to see their needs. Thanks for your input, Emma!
I’ve done that a time or two, as well :/. I think that I can somehow spare my friends if I keep things from them and don’t ask for their support. I feel that they wouldn’t ‘get’ what I was going through and I don’t want to be a ‘burden.’ I’m glad you were able to share your thoughts with your friend and to receive affirmation that she is just as loyal as always!
Wow, you really do understand! I’m always amazed like somehow I think that these feelings of isolation and loneliness are unique to overseas missions work but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. We are all just in so much need of Jesus and life demands if be so. God bless you and the work you are doing.
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