Earth-shaken, Fire-forged Love — February 17, 2016

Earth-shaken, Fire-forged Love

Is it too late for a mushy-gushy post? It’s my blog and I do what I want to.

Valentine’s Day has had me reflecting on the love the Lord has so generously blessed me with. First and foremost the unmatched love of Christ in my life is beyond compare to any temporal love that could be shown to me this side of heaven. That, in and of itself, is a totally and completely WORLD-ROCKING concept when I consider how abundantly full my life is in the L-O-V-E department.

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See what I mean?

The mission field has changed me. It has changed my husband. It has changed our marriage. It has changed our love. Our love may not of the Hallmark red-pink splattered fuzzy hearted type, but it is a lot of things less glamorous…but better.

Our love is shoulder-to-shoulder language learning, one of the hardest and most humbling experiences of our lives to date.

It is waking up to an earthquake and falling asleep again feeling safe in his arms.

Long walks stumbling around fallen bricks and our fears for our children growing up in this strange place.

Being led across the busy streets of Kathmandu in complete trust of the man that guides me.

It is sitting at our farmhouse table morning after morning, sipping our hot water (yeah, we quit coffee…and I don’t want to talk about it) and reading the word of God in a language that lights it all up for us.

Our love is my man sneaking out to the laundry room to start a load in the middle of the night while we are graced with power.

Snuggles that start solely for warmth. Cooking love-laced goodies on hot plates. Falling asleep on his shoulder on our millionth taxi ride. Walks with our daughter showing us her “secret places” she is unaware are public knowledge. Sharing our bed with a handsome little man who refused to sleep for the first year of his life. Rushing around in supermarket sweep style a few times a month. Squeezed-in cheesecake dates into our busting-at-the-seams schedule. Crashing into our bed at 8 o’clock after long days and waking up in groans and shared contempt for mornings.

It is joys, hardships, and countless stolen moments of peace among the crazy. The hug that chauffeurs me somewhere else. The kiss that takes away the stress if only for a moment. Romance is something I don’t remember much. But that’s not to say I don’t know love. I know it well. Maybe better than most.

  

I know our love. And I wouldn’t trade it for the love that storybooks and movies are made of. It has been forged in an on-going war to win the world. And it sure sounds romantic when you put it that way, doesn’t it?

And to think…Christ loves me MORE. And this ain’t a fairytale! It’s good and TRUE news our love weathers this place to share.

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Tell me about your earth-shaken, fire-forged love!
I would love to hear your experiences in the comment section below!

 

 

 

Just a little R&R — October 2, 2013

Just a little R&R

This past month was absolutely crazy! My missionary friends, I’m sure, can relate because it is what we like to call “Missions Conference Season.”

We are halfway through the busiest part of the year, and I’m thinking, “Wow, we only have one more of these seasons left before we move to India!” And while I love attending missions conferences and having the rare opportunity to connect with new friends on a deeper level, I rejoice a bit in this because IT IS EXHAUSTING!

I’m a wimp, and I know it! My 19 month old daughter is more of a trooper than I am. I’m not proud of this…

You can imagine how pleasantly surprised I was when my dear husband treated me to a little getaway! We retreated for about 36 hours to Eagle’s Wing Manor provided by Inn Keeper Ministries in Dayton, OH. He informed me that the original plan was to take this mini-vacation at the time of Ezra’s due date, but we were just too busy! I’m thankful because it ended up coming at just the right time when I was feeling like I was running on E!

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The welcome information packet encouraged us to do nothing but rest, talk to God, and enjoy being together…and that’s exactly what we did! We watched 3 movies, took naps, ate an exorbitant amount of peanut butter M&M’s, took long talk-walks, and read by the pond. AHHH! A pretty perfect 36 hours to me! I didn’t throw a tantrum like Jo did when she was torn from the bouncy house at her cousin’s party, but I imagine we were feeling much of the same emotions!

While we dread the “Go! Go! Go!” of the month ahead, we relish the opportunity to share the burden God has given us for the country of India with several new churches. Our main topic of conversation during these days was how incredibly blessed we are to meet so many loving, giving people who care for our family and support us in the ministry God has called us to.

So, we’ll press on, seizing every opportunity to influence hearts for India while simultaneously snatching up these little pieces of heaven we find along the way!

He loves me — February 8, 2013

He loves me

…He loves me not?

Sometimes I fall into this mindset that I operate within a performance based relationship. If I don’t keep the house immaculate or if I burn the chicken, I assume that my husband’s love-meter drops a little. I apologize to him profusely, and mostly he just laughs at me. He assures me that he loves me no matter what I do…or don’t do!

But does his unconditional love give me the excuse to lie around and watch Netflix all day and let my child eat Cheerios off of the floor? Absolutely not!  As he is driven to accept me with grace due to his love for me, I should be equally motivated with love to perform my duties to the best of my ability and take genuine efforts to minister to and care for my husband’s heart.

The same is true in my spiritual life. God loved me when I was dead in trespasses in sin, when I did not have a care for his truth, and when I was lost in utter darkness. But, praise God, He saw me through a lens of grace, through the blood of Jesus Christ and took my worthless soul as His treasure! Just as it was “not of works” at the time of salvation, the truth remains further down the road in my Christian life. God loves and values me on my good days when I respect my husband, lovingly care for my child, and speak the truth in love, and he loves me still on the days I resent my husband, begrudgingly care for my family and home, and show off the skills of a smart mouth.

But does this give me an excuse to selfishly seek my own desires and live independent of the truth of Scripture? Absolutely not! God’s grace should compel me to love Him in the best way that I can: by giving it all back to Him, glorifying Him with each and every action and decision of my day.

For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another (Galatians 5:13).

King of My Heart — November 16, 2012

King of My Heart

We have been blessed to have attended a two-day marriage conference at Vision here in Alpharetta. The seminars were taught by Derik Lawrence, pastor at Victory Baptist Church in Loganville, GA. He and his wife have been married for (I believe) 18 years and have six children. The Lord greatly used this sweet couple in my life to challenge me about what I can do to make our marriage last in the Lord.

ONE of the things that I have really struggled with is putting unrealistic expectations on my husband. I expect him to fill me, heal me, uplift me, protect me, provide for me, etc. Well, tonight I learned that that’s not really fair. He can’t do all of those things! ONLY Christ can.

Pastor Derik’s wife, Michelle, gave a testimony of how the Lord worked in her life in this area. It was amazing to me how this story matched my own so well. She shared that in the beginning, Derik did all of these things for her, but when the things of life came along to take his focus, she became frustrated that he wasn’t meeting her needs. However, one day, the Lord spoke to her through His Word. She went to her husband and said, “I don’t need you anymore.” In response to his initial shocked and puzzled reaction, she explained that she realized only Christ can fully meet her needs, and she apologized for asking Derik to do that instead.

The Lord has revealed this truth to me before, but I have never voiced it to Paul and have never found the strength to completely trust in the Lord to fill me and meet my needs. Last night, before bed, we replaced our usual goodnights with quotes we had learned during the conference. He said, “Baby, I want to be your mighty warrior.” In other words, he wants to fight for our marriage, to provide for me, to protect my heart, and to be the best man of God he can be. I replied, “Baby, I don’t need you anymore!”In a nutshell, I said that I am going to rely on God to meet the needs of my heart and stop setting him up for failure by setting unattainable goals for him to meet. We went to bed filled with peace rather than frustration, and oh, how wonderfully I did sleep!

I am looking forward to sweet fellowship with the Lord as I allow him to fill me, to provide for me, and to meet every need of my heart. Consequently, I anticipate sweeter fellowship with my husband as I allow him to fight for our marriage without the added pressure to meet the needs I should only ask my Heavenly Father to meet. Let the romance begin!

Taube Family Update — May 16, 2012

Taube Family Update

Yeah, I’m talking to you, Mom, Grandma, and the handful of others that may read this. Thought it was past time for an update for my far away friends and family. It’s sad to think someday it will be further. I want to get in good habits of sharing what’s going on, as I have the tendency to just get sucked into my own routines and lose touch.

Jolynn is now 12 weeks old. I am at the point where I have lost track of how old she is and have to count on the calendar…sad! She has outgrown all of her newborn clothes, and is changing so much every day! She smiles constantly and is such a happy baby! She consistently sleeps through the night, and is finally overcoming her reflux (for which I thank her visits to the chiropractor…who knew!).

Paul is working like a wild man to provide for our family. He works 5 days a week landscaping and 2 nights at Wendy’s. He also picks up tiling jobs and odd-construction jobs which he does in the middle of the night! 2 early mornings of the week, he unloads the truck at Wendy’s before attending class. What’s really awesome about his new albeit hectic schedule is that he is home more than before Jolynn was born. He wasn’t looking to start a new job or change his schedule, but the Lord just kind of put it in his lap, and I am so thankful that he did! Paul also attends class at Vision two days a week. He graduated from Bible school last year, and is just attending class to learn as much as he can about the ministry. He plans, Lord willing, to start making calls soon to book meetings and begin deputation full-time in September. His heart is longing to be on the mission field and is growing tired of the day-to-day to get us there, but he never seems to lose focus!

Thanks to all of his hard work, I am able to stay at home with the baby. I am hoping to find a babysitting job where I can either stay here with the baby or take her along with me. Paul loves that I am able to stay home with Jolynn, and he doesn’t pressure me at all to find a job, even though I know he is worn out! I would love to alleviate the burden, so I am praying that I can find a way to do so.

Having a baby has been such an added blessing to our marriage. Parenting and making decisions as a team has nurtured mutual respect and love for each other that goes beyond our day-to-day feelings. I can see how it has already brought us closer together in an unexplainable bond. Our times together, however rare, have grown incredibly more sweet!

This spring is when I would have graduated from college had I not decided to discontinue my pursuit of a Bachelor’s degree after obtaining my Associate’s. It is difficult reading and hearing about my dear friends graduating. While I am so extremely happy for them, a degree was something I wanted. While I will never regret getting married to a wonderful man when I did and having the most beautiful baby when we did, I can’t help but think it would have been great to stay in school. I trust the Lord’s plans for me, and I am so thrilled to be a missionary’s wife. If it’s not in his plans for me to EVER get my Bachelor’s…that’s okay. I just wanted it “for me,” like I deserve anything. And it’s just so great because I have been given MORE. Following a call to my husband, a call to the ministry really does trump any old degree!

The last few months have, obviously, been that of change for me. I am learning how to be a mommy and trying to be a good one. I am also learning how to share the responsibility and experience with my husband when I want to keep it all to myself. I am seeing the shift in focus that comes with having a child, and I am learning to include my relationship with my husband in the scope of that lens. It has been hard, but I also am learning to put the needs of my family over my own desires. The Lord is continually humbling and teaching me as I embrace my new role as a mother, and I am loving the journey.

Another huge thing that I am learning is trusting in the Lord- something tells me this is going to come in handy! In numerous situations, I have found myself looking at a problem and thinking it is insurmountable, but time and time again the Lord comes through for us, and we have come out on top. Sometimes, it doesn’t happen in the way I think it should, but I have found that His plans are always better than the ones we make for ourselves.

I am truly overwhelmed with how good the Lord has been to us. While each day may not be picture perfect, I can see him working on the big picture, and it is turning out to be a beautiful masterpiece!

2 years — April 12, 2012

2 years

Today, in honor of our anniversary which was Tuesday, I am praising the Lord for two wonderful years of marriage with an amazing man of God. When I really think about it, I just can’t believe the Lord allows ME, of all people, to live the life I have been given. One of the biggest factors of my extremely blessed life is my relationship with my husband. God took two kids with crushes (7th and 8th grade) and molded them to be just what the other needed. I wasn’t looking for my soul-mate in the seventh grade or even when I was fifteen and going out on my first date. Little did I know that the Lord had much bigger plans in mind than the ones we had- which for the time included bowling and Cinderella Man. Not only that but “on paper,” it still just doesn’t make sense. In fact, we used to laugh about how much we don’t have in common, but something about us just works, and I’m thinking the Lord just has a sense of humor in pairing people like us together! While it may not make perfect sense to us or to anyone else, I can’t imagine sharing my life with anyone else. I can honestly, though ashamedly, say that I definitely wouldn’t be  where I am in my relationship with God if it weren’t for Paul Taube. I wouldn’t be pursuing missions, and I likely wouldn’t be walking in His will. I am so incredibly thankful for a man who loves the Lord and truly strives to love me as Christ loved His church. He cares for my soul and continually uplifts me with his sweet spirit and loving ways. I am thoroughly enjoying watching him grow in his roles as a husband, father, and servant of God. I just can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store for the two- now three– of us! There will be bumps along the way as a result of two imperfect and selfish people trying to live together, but I can confidently say that by HIS grace, the blessings will far outnumber the bumps!

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