We have been blessed to have attended a two-day marriage conference at Vision here in Alpharetta. The seminars were taught by Derik Lawrence, pastor at Victory Baptist Church in Loganville, GA. He and his wife have been married for (I believe) 18 years and have six children. The Lord greatly used this sweet couple in my life to challenge me about what I can do to make our marriage last in the Lord.
ONE of the things that I have really struggled with is putting unrealistic expectations on my husband. I expect him to fill me, heal me, uplift me, protect me, provide for me, etc. Well, tonight I learned that that’s not really fair. He can’t do all of those things! ONLY Christ can.
Pastor Derik’s wife, Michelle, gave a testimony of how the Lord worked in her life in this area. It was amazing to me how this story matched my own so well. She shared that in the beginning, Derik did all of these things for her, but when the things of life came along to take his focus, she became frustrated that he wasn’t meeting her needs. However, one day, the Lord spoke to her through His Word. She went to her husband and said, “I don’t need you anymore.” In response to his initial shocked and puzzled reaction, she explained that she realized only Christ can fully meet her needs, and she apologized for asking Derik to do that instead.
The Lord has revealed this truth to me before, but I have never voiced it to Paul and have never found the strength to completely trust in the Lord to fill me and meet my needs. Last night, before bed, we replaced our usual goodnights with quotes we had learned during the conference. He said, “Baby, I want to be your mighty warrior.” In other words, he wants to fight for our marriage, to provide for me, to protect my heart, and to be the best man of God he can be. I replied, “Baby, I don’t need you anymore!”In a nutshell, I said that I am going to rely on God to meet the needs of my heart and stop setting him up for failure by setting unattainable goals for him to meet. We went to bed filled with peace rather than frustration, and oh, how wonderfully I did sleep!
I am looking forward to sweet fellowship with the Lord as I allow him to fill me, to provide for me, and to meet every need of my heart. Consequently, I anticipate sweeter fellowship with my husband as I allow him to fight for our marriage without the added pressure to meet the needs I should only ask my Heavenly Father to meet. Let the romance begin!